Last night's teh session was horrible - not that I didn't enjoy myself. Just got me thinking all through the night.

Background information: my group of friends are what I would consider bored intellectuals. If we were born in the time of Ancient Greece, we would have been the ones drinking wine, eating olives, inciting riots and buggering small boys. As with all groups of intellectuals, there is a certain amount of disassociation we feel with most establishments - government, religious bodies, fashion, corporate structure, you name it. This disassociation affords us a certain luxury of radical and unconventional thought that is not bogged down by the desire to be radical or unconventional.

So, in the midst of blaming economic theory and more salacious discussions about our mutual friends' sex lives, the discussion narrowed down to what people look for in a relationship partner. Our mutual conclusions were the same - we would not consider dating or marrying a fellow countryman.

Don't get me wrong - I have absolutely nothing against the average Singaporean. I just think we're a very sorry lot. We're repressed. We've no aspirations. Your average mollusc is more romantic than we are. More importantly - we're self-deluded.

Make no mistake - there is nothing Singapore has accomplished that cannot also be accomplished by another country. The fact that we got there first doesn't mean spit - just because we were first doesn't mean we can stay first. Don't believe me? Think of all the recent blows to Singapore invincibility. PTP stealing PSA's prized clients. HDB oversupply. CPF cuts. Want something nastier? Suzhou and Shenzhen.

Yet, the consciousness of your average Singaporean is still proud, believing Singapore greater than it actually is. You don't believe me? Ask your average Singaporean what the world's busiest airport is. Got your answer? It's probably not the correct answer - Atlanta. Singapore's not even in the top 10. Even more pervasive - who the fuck cares if Singapore is number 1, number 2, number 10 or number 20134? Why is it even important? Does being the number 1 port in the world make us better people? Does a better quality of life make you a better person?

Part of this consciousness has seeped into the Singapore style of relationships - our validation system, so focused on the external, does not allow for something beyond a laundry list of attributes. I'm not even going into the five C's here - that this is a criterion is already symptomatic of a problem. I'm talking about something more basic. Ask any Singaporean what he wants in someone and the answer would invariably be "kind, smart, handsome, good in bed" and other attributes like that. What happened to attributes that are taken in relation to yourself? You know, like the all-important "He/she must love me to bits, and I must love her to bits?" or "Someone I can communicate with and relate to?"

Try this experiment - ask a Singaporean what he's looking for in a partner. The first type of attributes will crop up first, the second will be added as afterthoughts. If you find someone that speaks about the second first, ask how long they've been in Singapore.

Now ask this question - how much of this applies to oneself? You'll be surprised at how little one would think that this applies to them if one is a Singaporean.