I'm bored and depressed.

Now if I had something to -be- depressed about, at least I won't be bored. Likewise, if I knew what was causing my boredom, I'd at least be mildly interested.

Right now, I'm utterly flat out, depressed, bored, and counting time until it's 6 and I can go home. It's like watching paint dry, only less interesting.

Right now, my ennui is caused by my impending departure - not knowing if you're good enough to head to an ivy-league school is depressing. Regardless of what people tell me, logically, I'm just one of a million Asians who did well on the GMAT and have a background in corporate finance work. That sort of thought is sobering to the extreme.

I'm in the midst of submitting one, maybe two more applications, and that's it I hope. My top three choices have not responded, and they shouldn't have to because they are months away from making a decision. I just hate a feeling of helplessness coupled by the knowledge that I hadn't done my best at GMAT or the applications. I just know that I did a decent job by my standards, so the consolation of having done your best is denied to me as well.

Combine that with a lingering resentment of my wife for giving me such a tight schedule to work with, and that's that.

But that's not what's causing the depression. In fact, that's just causing irritation, which should be worth some shits and giggles. But it isn't. And I don't know what is.

I'm so gonna get warded.