Somewhere under the wild stream of industry lies an undercurrent of sadness.

My wife expressed her sorrow at leaving it all behind - again. I feel it too. I see it everytime I see my mom's face. I feel guilt at having to rely on family money once more. I sense, with helplessness, my brother's self-pity. I meet my friends and know that when I return, we will have years, and no common experiences, between us.

I told my wife a year ago that if we considered how everyone would feel, we'd never leave. I keep telling myself that, but one thing to anticipate it, and another to actually feel the loss.

In a week's time I will take my first baby steps into a foreign land. I have no fear of the land. I do not know enough to fear. But I will leave my homeland wondering if I had underscored my own importance, simply by being in Singapore. Could I have done more for my family and loved ones? If I couldn't, why is it I feel that what I have done isn't enough? Will what I have to do be enough? Will it ever be enough?

How many bridges do I have to burn to light a path to the future?